Monday, January 5, 2015

This is our last

As my family and I walked through the holidays I often used the phrase, "This is our last..."

This is our last Christmas without Sam
This is our last holiday being a family of three
This is our last New Year's kiss without Sam's lips
This is the last time we will have one child opening presents under the tree
This is the last Christmas Card with only one child's photo displayed
This is my last Christmas break sharing the TV with one child

While I enjoy the holidays and seeing all my family and friends -- this holiday was different.  It was difficult celebrating knowing all of my family members were not present.  It was hard knowing my baby boy was across the country spending his Christmas in an orphanage.  I felt very guilty and saddened that he wasn't with us.

I know that Sam is being taken care of and his basic needs are being met - I know that there are very worse places he could be.  However, the best place he could be is with his loving family.  

I imagine Sam singing "I'll be home for Christmas".  Next year, as a family of four, we will decorate the tree together and laugh as our Elf on the Shelf causes mischief in our home.  Next year, my son will experience the love of a family who celebrate his birth and the birth of Jesus Christ!

I'll be home for Christmas
You can count on me
Please have snow and mistletoe
And presents under the tree
Christmas Eve will find me
Where the lovelight gleams
I'll be home for Christmas
If only in my dreams

1 comment:

  1. You seriously just brought tears to my eyes & a shiver through my bones! I can't to hear about all the "firsts" you will be sharing as a family of four in this monumental year of 2015! Let's get your Sam-boy home here VERY, VERY soon. He has so many people just waiting to meet him & show the love he so deserves. Hugs, Ann